An uneasy night, filled with apprehension
Tonight, I feel uneasy.
Normally I would seek the support or occasional words of comfort from a friend, but it seems even my friend is at loss for words. The silence or the awkward minute of utter bewilderment is not something that I desire at this moment, though on better days I would welcome it with a sly grin. People have their moods, and sometimes I feel that I am caught in a lopsided and warped communication (or lack of it) loop ~ my own erratic mood does not help relieve the tension.
The nervous strain has been replaced by restlessness. My mind seems to explode with the confusion of inaction. Does not help when one is alone, unable to find a trustworthy listener or a non-judgmental friend. Almost everyone has an opinion nowadays, with the exception of my friend who is engrossed with other distractions.
I am not keen for a lecture or when people think they know the problems like their own. The fact is people tend to lean towards the norms, and what is expected in a civilized society. My predicament seems a contradiction to serenity, something that people would reward you with a lengthy look of disgust, and a long-winded rebuke. What can I say, people are preoccupied with their own lives and their own flock of carefree friends.
In the meantime, I will shelter from this emotional storm alone, even though I am dying to speak to someone.